I am a grumpy old man. I am a grumpy old man who really wants a cigarette. The addiction to tobacco is insidious, alluring, and demanding. When you start smoking you can easily go for hours or even days between cigarettes. You think you can take them or leave them. That is the insidious part. The alluring part comes when the addiction is more apparent. It occurs when you have smoked frequently enough to establish an addiction level. When the nicotine in your system drops below that level you feel uncomfortable. When the nicotine in your system rises to that level you feel good. Your unconscious mind then makes the correlation. Nicotine equals comfort and pleasure, and cigarettes quickly and efficiently deliver the nicotine. The addiction becomes psychological as well as physical. If you are feeling stress, you seek comfort by smoking a cigarette. Cigarettes become part of your good times as well, and you soon find yourself lighting one up after sex or a good meal. Smoking also becomes a feel good pause between tasks, and it gives you something to do while you are waiting for your car to warm up on those cold winter mornings. If you are doing something that takes a lot concentration, such as writing, you will automatically reach for a cigarette. The point is that the physical addiction prompts a psychological addiction that causes you to smoke more, thereby increasing the physical addiction. I reached the point where it was difficult to imagine myself doing anything without a cigarette in my hand.
I am sure people knew about the addictive nature of tobacco when I started smoking, but it was not something they talked about. The truth about tobacco was concealed in a cloud of smoke. Now the truth is buried in a shroud of political correctness. Court cases and anti-smoking advertisements have made the manipulations and lies of the tobacco industry so apparent that here is no need to discuss the deceptions here. The falsehoods perpetrated by the anti-smoking crowd are another matter. The first studies the government cited regarding second hand smoke actually stated that the data does not support the conclusion that second hand smoke poses a significant health risk. Our government manipulated the data from those studies to reach a different conclusion. The manipulation was so blatant that the government’s own scientists said: “The dangers of second hand smoke are greatly exaggerated.” In other words, the governmental agency that is supposed to rely on science to provide us with the best health information lied to us. This fact taints all subsequent studies. The government provides the researchers with funds, and the government wants the research to support the contention that second hand smoke poses a serious health threat. The studies that the government cites must be considered as advocacy rather than science for the same reason that we consider the studies by the tobacco industry to be advocacy rather than science. As someone who wants to be informed, I think I deserve better. Regardless of whether the facts can or cannot be used to justify coercing smokers into quitting, the country should demand the truth. Unfortunately, determining the truth at this point would require an organization that receives no funds from the government or the tobacco industry, and that organization would have to conduct double blind tests to eliminate any biases the researchers might have.
The other thing I find very annoying about the smoking controversy is the hypocrisy. Arguments supporting the exorbitant taxes on tobacco are nothing more than sanctimonious justifications for getting something for nothing by foisting the cost of pet programs off onto people who are too weak to kick their addiction to a heavily advertised substance that was subsidized by our government throughout most of my lifetime. Saying that those taxes will encourage people to quit smoking is hypocritical because the people saying it are depending on the addiction to force smokers to fund programs the general population is not willing to pay for.
It is only natural for smokers to resent the hypocrisy and the deliberate deceptions being used to justify the taxes and the coercion. It is also natural for smokers to resist the coercion by continuing to smoke. I am giving up cigarettes in spite of the resentment I feel. I am quitting because of the one thing I do know about smoking. It has terrible health consequences for the smoker. People I love depend on me. I owe it to my family to try to avoid a catastrophic illness and a premature death. I hope the next generation does not react to the exaggerations about the dangers of second hand smoke the same way that my generation reacted to the exaggerations about the dangers of marijuana. If they do, far too many of them will suffer the consequences for ignoring the real reason for not smoking.
Two days ago I gave in to the temptation. I bought a pack of cigarettes, and I have been rationing them. Fortunately, my family has not given me any grief about that. They know there is no argument they can make that I have not heard. They are smart enough to realize that my addiction to tobacco is my demon, and that I am the only one who can defeat it. My struggle is not a single battle; it is a war. I cannot let a setback dictate the outcome. There are three cigarettes left in the pack. I threw them into the trash this morning. The urge to retrieve those cigarettes is pretty strong right now. Smoking has been such a large part of my life for so long that I am feeling almost as lost as I felt when I was divorced. I have to deal with the psychological addiction as well as the physical addiction. I have to develop new responses to events and situations. It is not an easy thing to do. The logical part of my brain is telling me to ignore the urge and to put some distance between myself and the cigarettes in the trash. I never thought it would come to this. I never thought I would be tempted to suffer the indignity of digging through the trash for a cigarette. I am going for a walk. I am going to think about how much better I feel when I am not polluting my lungs and irritating my sinuses. They tell me the struggle becomes easier after a while. I hope that happens soon!
